This month’s issue of The Atlantic includes an article by Sandra Tsing Loh -- Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off. The subtitle sums it up well: “The author is ending her marriage. Isn’t it time you did the same?”
Since Tsing Loh is such an articulate writer and performer, it’s practically guaranteed that her article would make numerous statements worth considering. (Example: “Just because marriage didn’t work for us doesn’t mean we don’t believe in the institution. Just because our own marital track records are mixed doesn’t mean our hearts don’t lift at the sight of our daughters’ Tiffany-blue wedding invitations.”)
The points the article makes, however, are worth more than the sum, and the points don’t add up to much. The reading experience is much like watching someone you respect come unglued, feeling smarmy for watching, and yet unable to look away.
She seems to be speaking from a wounded place from where she’s not quite in her right mind; Perhaps she simply didn’t wait long enough to write the piece with wise reflection tempered by time and distance. At best, she comes off like Hester Prynne on speed (pasting a histrionic crimson letter “A” on her own organic cotton t-shirt in the first paragraph as she refers to herself as a transgressor); at worst, she appears to be bent on blaming society for her marriage’s failure, rather than herself. At least, that’s what the writers at Slate’s spin-off, XXfactor, seem to think -- Sandra Tsing Loh Blames Everyone But Herself For Her Failed Marriage.
The blame game can go on for years and never reach a conclusion, so why play it? But since the very notion of how marriage is defined is currently a topic of national debate, both Tsing Loh’s story and the views of those who disagree may offer interesting tangents that broaden the dialog.
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